im jealous. very very jealous. my heart feels so sour, so green. why? why is this happening? it aint the way i thought things would be. why? why am i so affected by the slightest thing? it shouldnt be. i know the truth, ive seen the truth and im very unwillingly accepting it. i wish it never ever started, i hope i never ever knew you. if God made us become friends, i rather God never made us met.
every day without fail i hope a miracle would happen, i hope things will turn out better. every day without fail i have you in my mind, taking up most of the spaces it could fill. every night without fail i think of u, tossing and turning on my bed, couldnt even get to sleep. every night without fail i hope my handphone rings, to see a little goodnight message sent from you. every morning without fail i open my eyes with hope, hoping to see a message received from you, yet again, every morning without fail i drag my fat legs to the bathroom in disappointment.
i shouldnt be sinking further into this one sided affair, shouldnt be falling for you because it doesnt make sense. i tried to keep my cool, i tried to be strong, i tried to make myself scarce but i cant do it. counting the days since we met, since we last chat, since we last sms, it seems ages ago. im really upset, disappointed, devastated, heartbrokened. thanks for that happy day, thanks for those happy messages, thanks for that amount of interest span u had on me, thanks for the cares and concerns whether or not it was true and sincere, thanks for making me feel loved or attempting to lead me on, thanks for being a part of me.
thinking back, my recent, or maybe not-so-recent entries regarding affairs of the heart never seemed to be happy heh? im always falling for the wrong guy, always getting hurt and fooled or twirled rounds and rounds. what's wrong with me?
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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